so i went to the bar again tonight for my 4th appearance at the open mic comedy event.
my last three sets went fine, got plenty of laughs, and i felt good about them.
tonight i thought some folks from work were going to be there so i was using old material that had worked previously.
it's coming up with lines like that when you need them!!
I think Dave is looking for an "all purpose line" for next time, assuming he's telling jw jokes. The one I used in my previous post covers that and does not attack the gender of the heckler, which really would alienate the women in the audience.
for those who are interested, i have a monthly newsletter i have published.. this month i gathered articles on "tips for a cozier and more inviting home" and "5 quick gardening tips to save you money".
feel free to forward this to a friend.. .
.
That newsletter is really interesting and helpful, onlycurious! I'm putting it in my "favs."
I don't know whether you're interested in any input, but I have a few more gardening tips for you to add next time you publish gardening tips.
Miracle Grow (sp?) is 99% epsom salts (or some percentage close to that). Just pick up a carton of Epsom Salts at your local grocers or drugstore for a coupla bucks. (money saver)
When you plant trees or bushes or flowers, sprinkle Epsom Salts generously around the soil that covers the roots and let water trickle over the area so the Epsom salts will sink into the soil and be absorbed by the roots. Your trees and bushes will be prolific in a very short time.
After the last frost of winter is the time to prune rose bushes and similar flowering plants. Prune all the branches or twigs to within 18 inches of the root base, then coat the pruned tips with vaseline or lipstick to seal them and keep insects from harming them. And by using the Epsom Salts around the root base, you'll have a wonderful huge bush FULL of flowers or thick with leaves, as the case may be.
Use diatomaceous earth along with the soil around your bushes, trees and flowering or leafy plants. It's a great insecticide and will take care of a fire ant problem, too.
Diatomaceous Earth (DE) consist of the sedimentary deposits formed from the skeletal remains of a class of algae (Bacillariophyceae) that occurs in both salt and fresh water and in soil. These remains form diatomite, an almost pure silica that is ground into an abrasive dust. When the tiny razor-sharp particles come in contact with an insect, they cause many tiny abrasions, resulting in loss of body fluids. DE is the secondary ingredient in a variety of insecticides. DE being a natural product is harmless to mammals and birds and is digestible by earthworms.
My Father grew up on a farm.
Frannie
mainly theodore jaracz guy he is so nice on stage.
but life experiences tell me he is hiding his real @$$hole personality.
Why certain GB members have their shopping done for them......
so i went to the bar again tonight for my 4th appearance at the open mic comedy event.
my last three sets went fine, got plenty of laughs, and i felt good about them.
tonight i thought some folks from work were going to be there so i was using old material that had worked previously.
Heckler: You're an asshole.
Almost Atheist: That was on the list of qualifications for baptism as a Jehovah's Witness....right after "Leave your brain at the door." I see you're baptised, as well.
i still have a hard time wrapping my brain around this.
for example why do so many believe in the bible when ample proof exists that negats its validaty?
why not believe in zeus or jupitor, etc.
Karl Marx said, "Religion is the opium of the masses."
A belief system, not based on hard evidence, is used by most to explain the inexplicable and to place the blame elsewhere when a disaster occurs.
Frannie
got this in an email today.
have fun!
only great minds can read this.
If this really was the case, how would you tell the difference between pairs of words like "salt" and "slat"?
By the context in which they're used.
Frannie
now i am just a young guy myself, but do you feel that kids these days are getting stupider?
i personally feel that kids are getting stupider.. take for instance my exprience today.
i went to pickup stix and ordered the kung pao chicken.
I don't think kids are getting less intelligent. They're just receiving less training in practical knowledge....the 3 R's.
However, back in the early 70's my boss once sent some young person to the nearby chicken place for an order of chicken lips. The youth actually went there and ordered 'em and was very perplexed when they found out chicken lips don't exist.
Frannie
like anything you buy today, there is always something written in fine print that means, your product won't be covered under such and such eventualities.. now lets apply this to the watchtower.. what do you think the watchtower should have put in fine print so that the new jw's who just joined can see what awaits them.... this is what i would have written in fine print, if i was the watchtower.. your new journey starts here.
from now on, you dump all your worldy friends and family that don't want to become jw's.
once baptized, you can't look back and question the watchtower.
Warning: Leave your brain and all thoughts of independent thinking, privacy and personal freedom at the door, or even though we love-bombed you in the front door, we will slap you out the back door.
i don't know if this test has been posted here before or not, but anyway here it is:.
http://www.flashbynight.com/test/.
it said that i was smart can you believe that?
Got 23, also. Smarter than the average jdubya, I guess.
my wife and kids left jw's 7 years ago.
all seemed well and then last week my 20 year old son committed a crime and is now in jail 1500 miles away.
everyone that knows him says he is a good kid.
((((ontarget)))) We've been through this in our family. Support your son. He needs all the reassurance he can get. And va-ka-ka on those that blame you! Parents seldom deserve the blame they get for what their kids do.
Frannie
